Coming Out… to everyone else

National Coming Out day(October 11th) I decided to tell my sister, EMA, about me. BIG STEP. The biggest relief was no longer having to edit my posts to my FB account. I no longer had to do the ‘except for…’ edits. Phew!

Oh right, but the real relief should be in telling my sister I was gay. So many of my friends say she has to have known or suspected. But they don’t know the reality of just how different/distant I am when it comes to my own family. I really do mean it when I say I envy the relationship many of my friends have with their relatives. It really is an odd thing for me to understand. I should be studied.

“Are you really that surprised?” I asked.

“Ummm, yes” EMA replies.

“Sorry. I’ve known since I was 15.”

“Wow have you told mom?”

“Hell no. She wanted to kill herself when you were pregnant. I’m waiting”

“I know. Wait like twenty years cuz when i told her i was pregnant she told everyone well at least she’s not a lesbian.”

FML! The ‘worst’ thing she could’ve pulled outta the hat was that?! At least she’s not a lesbian??

“When are you going to tell her?” EMA went on.

“When John(my lil brother) is older. I dont want her to take it out on him.”

“It’s not his fault… and maybe you should wait a while because mom thinks you have a girlfriend right now and that you just dont want to tell her.”

Wow. I need to find a beard fast.

“Are we okay?” I asked her after the silence.

“Umm… yes, i’m okay just a little shocked…”

Sibling rivalry hasn’t really been a thing for EMA and I until I’d say the last six years. It wasn’t uncommon for us to go out to a movie or hang out. As we’re getting older this distance grows between us.

My sister has been known to throw me under the bus, tell parents certain things in an effort to switch focus from herself. I caught her doing this once and asked her why.

“Well, Dad said something to make me mad so I thought I’d make him mad…”

So, me telling my sister about me really is just like hitting the countdown. It’s a matter of time before it all catches up. I sure hope she understand the position that I’m in and that she doesn’t just spill the beans. I mean… she could easily turn her pregnant/teenager drop out situation into, “Well at least you guys have grandchildren because Branli will never give you any.” I can almost see it. I sure hope I’m wrong.

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10 Responses to Coming Out… to everyone else

  1. Dawn Embers says:

    *hugs*
    That facebook thing must be a relief. I can’t complain too much about my sister on twitter cause she follows me (and not many other people). bleh.

    I did tell my sister before my parents about liking girls. It just kind of came out one night when I was visiting from college, which was the trip I planned to tell my mom. She was gone when I did it. Oddly the cigarette smoking came first too. I started smoking as me and mom watched a movie cause I was nervous about telling her. Then stepdad called and said he’d be home sooner than planned so the deadline shrunk and I just told her. Don’t remember when I told my dad. Course, now I’m dating a male, which should seem easier but he’s not white. Oh the things we have to come out over.

    *hands you skittles and a good bottle of wine*

  2. Cyndi Tefft says:

    Congrats on having the strength to tell your sister. I can’t imagine that was easy, nor the concern about getting thrown under the bus in the future, and I admire you. *hugs*

  3. Annie says:

    This is a beautiful story, besides the fact that it is true. You need to submit this. You are a wonderful writer and a wonderful person. I’m so glad that you are in my life, eventho we are so far a part. xo Annie 😀

  4. Awww mate! I’m sorry you have to deal with this, it’s just so wrong! If it’s any consolation, from my perspective as a parent of three kids, I will love them whatever. I know not all parents are the same, but that’s a basic instinct. My kids have done some unspeakable things to me, but it doesn’t change the way I feel for them. You have done nothing. Just something to think about, mate. I wish you all the luck in the world. You should be proud of being you, you’re awesome! 🙂

  5. Haley Jo says:

    My Branli! I’m so proud of you! I wish I had as much courage as you do. I wish I could make myself tell at least one member of my family (although I really don’t speak to many of them anymore).

    I hope that your sister doesn’t jump the gun and spill the beans before you get the chance. I have a feeling your mom and dad would take it a little better if they heard it from you versus her.

    Congrats darlin’. This is a HUGE step.
    xoxoxo -Haley Jo

  6. T.L Tyson says:

    First and foremost, my little cloud of sunshine, kittens and Skittles, if you want a girlfriend, I will be more than happy to play the part. Parents fucking love me. So if your sister outs you and you want to recant and argue, I will drive the hell down there and be the best little non-girlfriend you’ve ever had.
    Secondly, if you ever wanted babies, you could have them. I am more than willing to offer my womb for you, and I’m cute as a freakin’ button, so you’ll be happy to know our babies would be awesome, sexy, hilarious lovebugs.
    And third, super proud of you for doing this. No serious. I can’t imagine what it is like. I mean, I have yet to tell my parents that I am straight…god knows what they are going to say.

    You’re a little brave soldier. And I adore you.
    xo

  7. Wow Branli, I had no idea your family didn’t know. As for me, a girl raised in a small town in Tennessee it took a marriage to a California boy (and life away from the close minded) for me to open my heart to gay people. I know that sounds dumb but when you are raised within the bible belt you don’t know there is another way. I think it was divine intervention who made my first California neighbors a gay couple of girls from the East coast. I’ve righted my brain every since. I hope the best for you and your family as the discover the real you. Best wishes.

  8. PS. I LOVE this TL Tyson chick. She sounds like a good girl.

  9. Branli says:

    @Dana Thank you so much 🙂

  10. Branli says:

    @T.L. Tyson xoxo Thanks 🙂

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