Fear Of Missing Out. FOMO.

That has been last year’s philosophy. Pretty much. Live like you’re dying, they’ve always said. Granted, I’m not doing all sorts of risky, life-threatening, behavior. And this isn’t exactly a midlife crisis… yet. What I am doing is taking more social risks, trying new things, saying ‘yes’ when I’d otherwise say ‘no.’ It’s an assault to my introvert personality, though I still have my days when I would rather sequester myself in the comfort of my room than go out. In the end, I don’t want to have the feeling of regret, of missing out. So far things have worked in my favor and I’m really glad I’m cracking out of my shell a bit, plus learning more about myself. Overall, I’m more comfortable and more confident.

Work is adequate. I enjoy it. There’s always a new dose of challenge, and something new to learn. That’s how I like it. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but I enjoying being the small fish in a big pond. There are all these bigger fish to learn things from. It’s exciting.

I’m trying to fit more time into my day. I still want to get back into writing. There’s coding I also want to learn. I know a few basic things, but I really want to excel in coding. It all requires so much time and dedication and really it all comes down to how much I want it and how much time I’m willing to put it. It’s all about motivation and dedication.

Writing prompts are there–the stories are there. They’re overflowing and I have plots to keep me busy for a while. Fleshing them out has always been a problem, which I’m sure is a common problem for many writers, along with the occasional writer’s block. I have half a dozen projects half-finished. It’s kind of frustrating because I want so badly to finish just ONE this year. Just one.

What’s stopping me?

A part of it is, I’ve lost confidence, not only the work but in my ability as a writer. Sure, there are the copy-editors that we keep in business, but that only goes so far. It’s back to basics; reading. Reading has always been my way to sharpen my writing skills. My mind examines the prose, the style, the emotions evoked in the passages I read.

Health and fitness.

I’ve come a long way from last year as far as health and fitness. Although I’ve lost the 34lbs I gained over the course of my life in the PNW, I want more now. Now that I know I can do this, I want to see how much further I can push myself. Can we go lean and sculpt? Don’t know, but we’ll see how it goes.

That’s my short update for this year. I want to continue blogging, I’ve sort of let it slip to the wayside. Armini (muse) has started to whisper these odd plots, strange scenes that involve him. Perhaps I’ll spark the fire of inspiration with his stories.

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The past six months have been a blur, to say the least. I look back at my last entry and realize it’s been a LONG time since I’ve blogged.

Things at work are still as hectic as before. Though I’ve settled into the routine, enough to be able to take a step back and breathe a little easier. I’m no longer stressing about having to learn so many new things.

Gym routine is nicely settled. It’s something that happens during the week before work. I no longer have to muster the motivation to go. It’s not a thought, I just go. I love that! Aside from a couple of months where I plateaued, I’m still losing weight. 26lbs lighter and almost approaching the year mark from when I started this journey.

I’m not sure I talked about why I started this journey. I supposed it was sparked by a breakup. No, not some revenge to “get back at them” nor was my weight a factor in the break up. It honestly came down to keeping my mind busy. I wanted to cry. I wanted to get so inebriated I wanted to drown the hurt away, but I couldn’t. I invested myself in a routine to better myself, because I needed the distraction. Plus, I hate regret. I don’t want to look back when I’m in my old age and regret never feeling good about my body.

Regret. It’s been a big motivator lately. It’s motivated me to wrap up a lot of lose ends in my life, and to take more chances. Overall, I’m pretty happy about a lot of things in my life right now 🙂

And here is where regret comes in again…


I miss it. Yes. I’ve been saying it. I need to finish things and I’m making April all about getting back into the “swing” of it. I would hate to regret never finishing the trilogy–or never moving on to all the other “lovely” writing projects I have started. I won’t make any promises of when I’ll finish anything, but I know for April I’ll set aside Sundays as a “study” day; read, write, craft. Just like my gym routine, this too shall set in and hopefully get me back to something I really love.

Gawd I love it up here in Seattle.

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