Enduring

Volatile. Hostile. And generally unhealthy.

That is what work has become. It has become a place where micromanaging is the way and the wrong things are addressed. Nevermind procedural things that should be fixed, like why a customer must endure WEEKS without service simply because procedure dictates I cannot contact the right department to help them. Nevermind the elevated stress, the never ending meetings of bad news because let’s admit it… there is NEVER a meeting to congratulate someone or give good news. Not at my place at least. And nevermind addressing the low morale at the office. Nope. Management has no time for that.

I’m sure we all have this at work in one way or another. I think for me… the tipping point is finally here.

2012

For the past few weeks I have been working hard on my ‘Horizon’ book. I’m going through some tough editing, preparing to hand it off to an editor. Rather, a few editors. In a recent guest blog post on Eisley’s site, I made the announcement of going Indie. Screw traditional routes and forget the Big 6. The market is changing and time to take arms and charge into the fray.

I have three books done (A trilogy). Working on another trilogy, and have another planned after that. To think I was afraid I’d never have another book idea. Well… I still fear that but with my hands full I remind myself that I have time to think of another story.

My biggest fear is my soon-to-be-published book being a complete flop, riddled with harsh reviews and destroying all hopes of being a successful author.

I have the support of friends and the online community, but what if I oversold it? What if this isn’t epic? What if this is just horrible?

:: breathes into paper bag ::

Yes. I’m taking the steps of making sure I have a solid book. I’m making plans to have at least three editors and a few new BETA readers for the next phase; all fresh eyes. But, what if the book isn’t salvageable?

I’ve edited a lot. Removed scenes, characters, updated the prose, the dialogue, and even removed certain subplots. It reads better, cleaner, polished. So, it is ready for the next phase, the editors. Still, the lingering thoughts haunt me, expecting to hear it still needs A LOT of work, or the story is just FUBAR!

Yes. One will always have critics and I must admit, as a SciFi/Military-esque themed book… it won’t be for everyone. In fact, the majority of my followers are NOT my target audience. Then again, the platform I built on my @Branli twitter account was meant to be a writer one, not one for my audience. Which really goes into another topic I’ll discuss on the other blog.

Tougher skin is required as I boldly charge onward. It’s the next phase…

I plan on self-publishing all three novels in the trilogy next year. They’re all written so there’s no worry of having to catch up or skip on things. Though, they all do need to be edited.

I propose next year to be my final year with my employer. I want to either move to a less hostile position or seek employment elsewhere. If this writer thing picks up I hope I can afford to take a regular job (cuz the pay cut is expected). I am determined to make it a pivotal year. Something has to give. Something has to change.

But, what if I don’t make it??

:: looks for paper bag ::