It’s not easy being the new kid on the block.
Though I had my small group of friends prior to moving to Washington, they don’t mix well. Meaning, we don’t generally hang out together all at once. Though to be clear this isn’t usually a problem since I have an “eclectic” collection of friends. Even back in SoCal I hated mixing my circles together because they didn’t always get along. I’m not really sure why I’m mentioning this but I guess my point is that the social circle here is a lot smaller. I click on many levels with my friends here but there is something missing that I can’t quite put my finger on. As I type this I’m staring at my glass of water and realizing my situation is very similar. It’s currently half empty/half full. Every interaction/friendship fills it up to a certain level. I can usually figure out the right balance of people to get my “fix” and feel satisfied (a full glass). Right now each friendship contributes to the glass but never the full amount no matter how I mix it. This isn’t to say I hope to “drain” the other person to fill my glass, but things generally don’t naturally flow to the level of fulfillment.
My mind is restless. It’s–dare I say–on the prowl, searching for the right friendship to fill this gap. As a result it’s forcing me to be a bit more social and even consider people I generally would overlook. It’s interesting. Why not?
Every work environment–like High School–has it’s popular crowd, the geeks, the nerds, and everything in between. It sometimes amazes me that we’ve graduated from high school only to be thrown into a much bigger high school called “life.” (though things like “detention” and “time-outs” are in the form of fines and jail time). I’m generally a very shy person, keep to myself and only stick out because I’m quiet. When I was approached, by what most consider the popular girl, I was a bit surprised. As she engaged me in conversation and finding out I’m new I couldn’t help but fee like Cady in Mean Girls. This feeling would further be fueled when she made an outline of the town on paper, highlighting the good places to hang out and the places to avoid.
“This place is pretty awesome and we often go there to drink!” She’d say, pointing out a local bar. “Oh, and avoid this main street, cops are everywhere!”
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” I say.
“You should come hang out with us.” She flashed a brilliant perfect smile. “What are you doing this weekend?” She doesn’t let me finish as she notices I’m reading Stranger In Strange Land by Heinlein. “Oh my gawd! I’ve been looking for this book!” I’m surprised words like “fetch” and “shut up” weren’t mixed in.
She’s a sweet girl, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t to paint her in any bad light, but needless to say I was amused. Regina (yes, I’m naming her that in this entry), goes on to tell me about the popular bars and restaurants, where the main highways are, what towns are the best places to hang out at and what towns to avoid. “There’s no reason for you to ever be in this town. Ever. It’s just trash.”
All eyes are on me as I’m talking to Regina. The people on the floor are staring, their eyes studying my responses. So far I’m known as management’s pet. Good or bad? I’d say it’s a mix. I think most on the floor don’t like that this new kid comes along and rumors are flying I might be moving on up. But, let me quash those rumors now, because although management has had their eye on me to move up, I’ve decided to lie low. There’s a lot of system things to figure out still. I’d rather have a solid foundation before taking on any new challenges. I’d rather people respect me for knowing my stuff, proving myself, than just dashing into the fray blindly. Nothing could be worse than being the new kid that messes up a lot when management had such high hopes. I hate letting people down. And yes, I also hate being ostracized by coworkers. I’ll prove myself with time.
Regina draws up the town, marking both sides of the paper, and then hands it to me. I study it (half deciphering the chicken scratches) and pay close attention to the “AVOID” section: “People get shot during the day”
… that’s where I live.
